Relationships change over time. Just consider the difference in your relationship with your parents when you were a child, teenager, young adult, married with kids, and when your parents are in their later years. Our strongest feelings about a relationship tend to be the nature of the relationship at the moment and we often forget what we felt in years past.
The dictionary definition of relationship is “the state of being connected” or “the way in which two or more people regard and behave toward each other.” Wouldn’t it be nice if we could remember and enjoy the highlights of our relationships no matter what season of our life we are in?
Over the past five years my once vibrant and energetic mother has declined physically and mentally. It has been hard on her and her children. She lacks the desire to do much of what brought her joy in the past. Pain and suffering from accidents and an aging body have caused discouragement and hopelessness. She also has become dependent on others for everything.
Recently family history has come to the rescue and brought new vitality to my relationship with my mom. It really started almost 15 years ago when she was moving residences and wanted to get rid of a lot of boxes full of papers, statements, pictures, cards and other items she had saved over the years. She told me to throw them in the dumpster because she would never have the chance to go through it. At the time I knew there may be some value to some of the materials, so I sealed up the boxes and stored them away.
About a month ago the Spirit of Elijah prompted me to open those boxes and sort through them. Waiting 15 years may have been a good thing because 15 years ago I may not have realized the exceptional value of the contents of these boxes. Today I am so grateful that these boxes didn’t just become a fatality like happens so often with a move, a death or other event that causes someone to take possession of another’s “stuff.”
I found myself often moved to tears as I read the cards, letters, and notes written to my mom by her children and persons whose lives she had touched. I even found letters I had written to my mom when I was a teenager, a new dad and a seasoned parent. Reading these letters brought back so many wonderful memories. They helped me remember the tremendous love and appreciation I had for my mom and the significant role she played in my life.
Shortly after the discovery I took a sampling of the letters and cards and spent an afternoon reading them to her. The spirit of love was so powerful and we both shed tears of joy. Those letters and notes written in another time helped connect us in a powerful way today. It also helped her feel how much she was loved and appreciated and the joy she had experienced in her life.
This experience has made me realize the importance of preserving cards, letters, thoughts, talks, reports, certificates, special memories, and journal entries. The Granite Family History Center is equipped to help you in your memory preservation. We also have consultants that will help you sort and save the documents digitally so that you may share them with others and help build relationships with family members both past and present. Don’t let those boxes in your basement, attic, or garage continue to collect dust. Pull them out and start sorting, saving and sharing these important relationship builders!
-David Castleton, Director, Granite Family History Center