Now that I have my DNA results, what do I do with them? I have looked down the list of matches and been able to identify several of the names as being part of my family tree, as well as the possible side of the family they are from. My daughter was looking at those matches with me and commented that one of the first names listed that I didn’t recognize was the same name as a friend of hers. She immediately looked her up on Facebook and found the woman’s maiden name. Bingo! Based on her maiden name, I knew that she must be the daughter of one of my cousins on my mother’s side. With just a few texts back and forth, we were able to determine which cousin she was descended from. My daughter and she are excited to know
they’re cousins! While this turned out well and was fairly easy to identify, not all conversations are this simple.
Not everyone who appears as matches will be as interested in making connections as this woman was. What should I do with the other matches? Amie Tennant (22 February 2019) suggested that there are simple steps you can follow when you have a DNA cousin match list to work with.
The first step is to review the family tree of each of your DNA cousin matches. This works well if every one of them has a tree on the site where you had your DNA tested. Upon receiving my matches, I did scroll through them. The close relatives and the first cousins listed were easy to identify. I knew who they were. But as I continued to see who else was listed, it got increasingly harder to identify because there were no trees on Ancestry. If I was lucky enough to see a small listing of family names associated with any one of them, it was easy to identify which branch of the family they were from.
When you’re ready to contact them, do it via your testing company’s internal message system. Just a word of caution: Not all people who have their DNA tested have a knowledge of their family tree. For many people, having DNA tested is a fun thing to do. They just want to know the breakdown of their ethnicity. Whether or not they find any long-lost cousins isn’t the goal of their testing.
Which DNA matches should you contact first? Start with your closest DNA matches. The list on Ancestry starts with immediate family first and then 1st to 2nd cousins, 3rd or 4th cousins, and so on. What would you say? Tennant suggests the following as an example of how to approach this:
“Dear _, It seems that you and I are close DNA matches. I noticed you did (or didn’t) have a family tree uploaded and wondered if you would feel comfortable sharing a little of your family history with me. I am the daughter of Jacob Smith and Ann Donnelly. I believe you are likely from the Smith side of my family. My father Jacob (b. 1941) is the son of Michael Smith (b. 1911) and Donna Mason (b. 1913) of Sandusky, Ohio. Do any of these names sound familiar to you? I am hoping to learn more about Michael and Donna Smith and hope you might have some information. Hope to hear from you soon.”
As you move farther down the list of cousin matches, it may be more difficult to determine how closely you’re related or who the common ancestor may be. Always offer to share what information you may have about your shared family tree, especially if you are wanting them to give you anything you don’t have. If you don’t receive any new information but the cousin seems willing to continue the contact, reach out on a regular basis. You never know when either of you will make new discoveries that can be helpful. (Source: Amie Tennant, 22 February 2019) –LizKennington